skeert ta luv agin

I'm divorced. It sucks but it happens. It was for the best. We both made mistakes that contributed, me more than her but the point is that part of my life is done.

Sure, its been a couple of years and as far as my everyday life it's been done for quite a while and while i may have said it out loud now i am typing it. To make it final. Done.

I still think of her, i expect i always will but the thoughts are less and less frequent and never in a longing sort of way. Not like 'I wish I could be back with her today.' Or 'if only i had...'

So why am i so diametrically oposed to the idea of another significant relationship?

I am enthralled by the idea of falling in love. The giddy anticipation that accompanies meeting somebody new, discovering similarities, wanting to know more and more and being surprised by how much you have in common. I love that.

But the thought of trusting somebody completely again. Having one other person who knows everything about you and you're comfortable with that. More than comfortable. Devoted. It's overwhelming to consider because with that trust comes the posiblity of disasterous results. I guess I'll know i'm ready when i regain enough faith in the positive to risk it all again.

Maybe tomorrow?